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Tag: summerdream

elderflower strawberry cake – a summer dream

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6 years for a week now and these two seem to be so grown up to me all the sudden...i love them so and i am truly happy they really have this soulsister in their twinsister....what a gift.i hope they see, discover and rediscover it over and over again like they already do now bit by bit, even though its all still a bit unconscious ...sharing a last piece of the birthday chocolate before we head out again.finally.after the wave of sickness left this house.😌🙏 Thank you all again for your warm well wishes.

'when the light gets in'...so there it lays: wet, used and mushy - my last dried elderflower umbel from last year.holding soooooo much beauty in my eyes. i enjoyed the last tea to the fullest with awakening memories of how i would climb up the old squeaky wooden ladder on a warm may or june day under the very warm or better hot woodenfloored attic of the old house that survived the february bombing in the 2nd world war where we lived in.as i would reach the little narrow hole and climb up, the already intense scent of the many many elderflower umbels that layed and dried on old newspapers was there immediatly.the whole attic was covered with them.i mean, for real.i loved that smell and that sort of secret place where my parents would dry the elderflower umbels. Later in the year, they would make elderberry juice and there is this black and white photo of my dad, holding one of my younger sisters, pretending to bite into one of these elderberry umbels {of course knowing they are poisoning eaten raw}. when i was younger, i thought it was weird and a bit embarrassing that he posed like that in front of a tree or bush...now, that i share his elderflower passion and obsession, i love it...oh i can't wait for spring to wake up more and for the elderflower bushes to bloom in a few months.for sure one of my highlights in late spring....good bye last dried preserved elderflower ♡

and there it was.today.this morning.for about 15 minutes.....a moment of pure calm, devoted to me, with the sun...my beloved friend...as a sign of hope and light ▪ and maybe this might sound a bit depressing or negative to you, and maybe it would be more instragam likely to post a great photo of this truly happy monday morning when we returned home from the hospital, little a. and me, in time for the girls 6th birthday or a photo of the amazing blueberry cheesecake with the big 6 on it christian baked or our happy proud girls with their schoolbags birthdaypresents and the house full of laughing birthdayparty kids...truth is though, one of my girls got sick as well and catched that virus laying in bed beside me, 'cause i have been feeling the weather change and my headache is proof of it.sickness sucks and to speak frankly: i am at the point where every part in me longs for spring and warmer sunnier days. and there it was this morning.when christian took care of the vomit mess, all of our three needy kids, so i could have those minutes all to myself.the sun was there.inviting me to sit down and to just be there and to enjoy and to let go and hand in this motherly responsibility and worries that have been almost a bit to heavy on me, to christian. i tell you, i'm working on it: to let go and 'to hand in'...the heavy stuff about mothering.but the oh so necessary stuff in order to be more gentle and loving to myself in times where these mother thoughts tell you to go, go, go...to have and enjoy a coffee on normal busy days with kids, yepp, ok still possible, but to enjoy a whole breakfast and time with yourself when your kids are sick and to not feel guilty, noop, not so easy, the more difficult selfcare lessons ▪i'm looking forward to tomorrow, where the sun will shine again, where i am positive that my girl's and my boy's health will be much better and where my headache hopefully will be gone....hope.yes, thats what i carry in me....thank you god for reminding and speaking to me...via SUN.

with this image from yesterday's morningwalk, where i felt all the thankfullness and joy to be alive and to enjoy this very moment with my little son, i wanna say • t h a n k y o u • thank you all for the love on my last post.your openess and vulnerability you also entrusted me with ▪ and as i write these words, a crazy day lays behind me.my little babyboy and me are back in a familiar place called hospital.he probably catched that virus from his sister just like 2 months ago and he's teaching me patience again while smiling and talking to me even though he is fighting.fighting those aweful viruses ▪and as i read all your many comments on my last post, i have to think of one in specific now that was adressing also the hard and difficult things on having a child with that extra chromosome.and its true.to have a child with trisomie21 doesn't automatically mean you only have a child of the sun. life-threatening moments, worries because of healthissues, a slight guilt of spending so much more time with this child than with its siblings, the fear and uncertainty of a life long responsibility or dependency of your child, not to speak about the cruel reactions of our society that are reality...these are just some of the challenges that parents of children with special needs probably or might have to deal with.and no, its not easy, but as my outlook on life was before, its still the same: love is the strongest of all and can overcome anything.i TRY to see those challenges as a chance to grow.to put my roots even deeper and to practice gratitude.gratitude for the little and simple things...like on that beautiful beautiful winter morning we had just yesterday...i can still feel that thankfullness and joy.and yes, it carried me a bit through this hard day today and i can feel peace and thankfullness now.